Apologia Exemplar

Use our discussions about formal writing to assess the following samples. 

Consider each students' use of quotations, formal language (third person now), unity, coherence, sentence structure and rhetorical devices. 

Has each essay been structured using an inductive or deductive method of organization? Is it appropriate for the topic posed?

What other methods of development have been used to create interest and support the claim? 

Identify and describe the strength of the claim, and whether the claim has been appropriately supported  through the students' knowledge of the author; understanding of the historical context and current trends and themes; and reflection on the novel itself. 

Has each student displayed a strong understanding of what it means to define a classic? (see the supports given to you in the sidebar....)
 
Does the essay's final form reflect current MLA format rules?

Using the description of the task and the rubric you have been given, determine what mark each essay would have achieved.



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STUDENT A:
A classic novel is a piece of literature that has universal themes, both literal and metaphorical, to which virtually everyone can relate.  Readers may not agree with certain aspects of the theme, but nonetheless understand and respect them.  The theme itself should be a lesson of some type in which the audience can derive great knowledge and wisdom.  The author should have a distinct and unique style of writing.  Lastly, the book must be exquisitely unique even in relation to its genre.  Steppenwolf by Hermann Hesse is a classic.

In the book Steppenwolf, the main and most universal theme is to not take life with seriousness and austerity, but rather with joy and serenity (Hesse).  Harry Haller, the protagonist, has for much of his adult life wanted to be immortal; a metaphor Hesse uses to symbolize a highly intellectual state of mind that belongs to a ‘timeless reality’ (Hesse).  Harry’s main argument, and also his contradictory reason for self-loathing, is that he firmly believes it is impossible to become immortal if one is bourgeois (Harry believes one should think and be more philosophical); thus he hates everything about the bourgeois, but deep down he secretly thinks himself as bourgeois due to his adolescent and young adult years of literary fame (Hesse).  Because of this contradiction, he suffers…until Hermine (Harry’s bourgeois counterpart) explicitly points it out to him:

“Oh! How stiff you are! Just go straight ahead as if you were walking . . . Dancing, don’t you see, is every bit as easy as thinking, when you can do it, and much easier to learn. Now you can understand why people won’t get the habit of thinking. . . .”  (Hesse)
                                                                                                            
This quotation is important because, in the context of the book, it is the first time Hermine reveals to Harry his own hypocritical misconceptions about becoming immortal {(SparkNotes Editors), (Hesse)}.  It also relates back to the main theme of the book; to not live life with serious gravity.

Hermann Hesse wrote Steppenwolf between 1923 and 1927 while staying at a health resort in Switzerland (Sobel).  During his time there, he made a few observations about the ever-expanding technological world (Sobel).  He disliked how the bourgeousie elevated technology as well as civilization’s ever-growing dependence on it (Sobel).  The line from the song Extraordinaire; “To be out of the ordinary, you don’t need technology!” by Joel Plaskett would satisfy Hesse as it summarizes his thoughts at the time.  Hesse’s thoughts can be easily seen as the bases of Harry Haller’s dislike of the bourgeousie.  What makes Hesse such a brilliant writer as well as what makes the book a classic piece of literature is Hesse’s in-depth relation to the story – and more specifically to Haller.  Some have said, and even the synopsis on the back of the book hints at as well, is that the book is an autobiography disguised as a story {(Shaw-Sutten), (Hesse)}.
           
            Regardless of what the book’s exact genre, there is a large amount of similarity to that of gothic literature even though the book was written decades after the gothic era ended, which suggests Hesse was influenced by such books.  The whole book is told, much like Frankenstein, as first-person records of what has already happened (technically the whole book is Harry Haller’s journal) (Hesse).  Also the parallel of the gothic ‘forbidden knowledge’ in Steppenwolf is the state of mind of the immortals.  Another reference is that even though Harry can consciously think about the immortals, he only gets to see them during dreams or out-of-body experiences.  Examples from the book include his dream about talking to Johann Van Goethe and when he talks to Mozart at the end.  The whole idea of conflicting souls is also present.  Harry perceives himself as having two souls; one of a man and one of a wolf of the Steppes – thus his self-given nickname name Steppenwolf.  What is ground-breaking about this piece is that in most gothic works the protagonist/fallen hero, eventually never gets what he/she desires and the story somewhat resembles that of film noir, but in Steppenwolf he does implicitly achieve what he wants.  The final words of the book are as follows:

“I understood it all. I understood Pablo. I understood Mozart, and somewhere behind me I heard his ghastly laughter. I knew that all the hundred thousand pieces of life’s game were in my pocket . . . I would traverse not once more, but often, the hell of my inner being. One day I would be a better hand at the game. One day I would learn how to laugh. Pablo was waiting for me, and Mozart too.” (Hesse)

            The book Steppenwolf by Hermann Hesse is a classic piece of literature.  The main theme is clear and everyone can relate to it, as well as learn from it.    The book is extremely unique by being both a pseudo-autobiography as well as a one-of-a-kind variation on a gothic work.
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STUDENT B:
Fyodor Dostoevsky’s novel The Idiot was a seminal piece of literature, considered one of Dostoevsky’s finest works and one of the finest pieces of Russian literature in general. This is because of its insight into the concepts of good and evil, life and death, and many of Dostoevsky’s own philosophies and psychological musings.

Dostoevsky was once called “The only psychologist from whom I have anything to learn” (http://www.fyodordostoevsky.com/) by Friedrich Nietzsche, which makes sense given Dostoevsky’s incredible insight into the human mind.  When writing The Idiot, Dostoevsky set out to write about a perfectly good and pleasant man, Prince Myshkin. What makes this tale compelling; however, is seeing a man so pure and good as the Prince being sucked into the pit of insanity by the evil of another man: Rogozhin. As the book comes to its famous and stunning climax, the murder of the beautiful Nastasya Filippovna causes the Prince to regress back to what he once was: “An idiot.” This tragic close to the novel not only comes as a shock, but also stands to offer some acumen into Dostoevky’s almost unrivalled handle on tragedy. 
In The Idiot the “good guy” fails and is sent into a psychological breakdown, similar to the ending of another of Dostoevsky’s masterworks, Crime and Punishment, in which the protagonist is found guilty and is sentenced to prison time. This bleak sense of justice which much of Dostoevsky’s writing is infused with has earned many of his works the title of “existentialist literature”, and allows the reader to garner a fairly comprehensive understanding of his general philosophy. Dostoevsky doesn’t show a very strong faith in the goodness of humanity, or at the very least in “happy endings”; but who could blame a man who suffered a mock execution, and witnessed the deaths of dozens of friends and contemporaries? The Idiot serves to instill an unsettling view of the human condition, in which even the nicest man can be destroyed by petty evil. This incredible understanding of the human mind serves to solidify Fyodor Dostoevsky as one of the great writers in history.


As a man, Dostoevsky was no stranger to real-life tragedy. Being a member of the liberal group, the Petrashevsky Circle, a group of like-minded writers and artists interested in reading and discussing literature banned from Russia at the time, he was put to a mock execution with the other members of the circle (many of whom went on to be legitimately executed). The Russian autocracy, fearful of seeing another uprising similar to the Revolutions of 1848 (Breunig, C. 77), feared any group of people they thought could possibly harm them. As such, Dostoevsky was forced, along with his colleagues, contemporaries, and friends, to stand outside in the freezing cold waiting to be killed by firing squad, only to be let free hours later. However, they did not come out unscathed, the members of the circle were sentenced to exile in Siberia where they would spend four years of their lives doing hard labour under terrible conditions. Dostoevsky himself described the conditions: “In summer, intolerable closeness; in winter, unendurable cold. All the floors were rotten. Filth on the floors an inch thick; one could slip and fall... We were packed like herrings in a barrel... There was no room to turn around. From dusk to dawn it was impossible not to behave like pigs... Fleas, lice, and black beetles by the bushel...” (Frank, J. 76). Being an artist, though, Dostoevsky used this experience in his writing, speaking of his own experiences in the third person (from The Prince’s perspective), he wrote “Maybe there is a man who has had the sentence read to him, has been allowed to suffer, and has then been told ‘Go, you’re forgiven.’ That man might be able to tell us something.” (Dostoevsky, F. p. 23), and indeed he did. Dostoevsky explains with incredible simplicity how the death penalty is a much crueler way of extinguishing a life than cold-blooded murder, even when the method is painless (eg. the guillotine). “The strongest pain my not be in the wounds,” The Prince explains in one striking passage, “but in knowing for certain that in an hour, then in ten minutes, then in half a minute, then now, this second – your soul will fly out of your body and you’ll no longer be a man, and it’s for certain. The main thing is that it’s for certain.” (Dostoevsky, F. p. 23) This type of anecdotal evidence proves a much stronger argument against capitol punishment and the death penalty than perhaps any other in the history of literature. “A man killed by robbers,” The Prince continues “stabbed at night, in the forest or however, certainly still hopes he’ll be saved till the very last minute. [...] But [when killed by legal sentence] all this hope, which makes it ten times easier to die, is taken away for certain.”(Dostoevsky, F. p. 23). This incredibly powerful telling of Dostoevsky’s own brush with death (through word of the Prince) also proves to cement The Idiot as an indispensable piece of classic writing.


Dostoevsky uses The Idiot mainly as a vehicle for his own philosophical beliefs and musings, be it his belief that “Grown-ups don’t know that a child can give extremely important advice even in the most difficult matters.” (Dostoevsky, F. p. 67), or the tale of a poor girl named Marie who after she lost everything and was exiled from her town, the Prince helped save (despiteher ultimate death: another tragedy within the novel). The stories that are told within the story, like that of Marie and the children, exemplify Dostoevsky’s uncanny ability to convince the reader of almost anything using anecdotal evidence. This lucidity in his philosophy as well as his ability to insert it into the story without seeming juxtaposed will convert most readers and keep them interested in what Dostoevsky (or the Prince) has to say.

In the end, The Idiot earns its spot as a classic and cardinal piece of literature more so because of its author’s incredible genius and life than it’s plot, but the characters and the events are the instrument by which Dostoevsky can express his thoughts and personal stories in a way he was comfortable with, and a way that he knew would life long past his own mortal years.